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One day, I got a call from security to let me know that a man was breaking into my truck. Since we were still recovering from the shock (those who have never been robbed will not understand) of my wife's truck being stolen, I had pictures of smashed glass and a missing truck. I got to the guard gate, and saw the guard and Bob, one of the Engineers, standing next to my truck, which looked fine (sigh of relief). They were quite excited, and Bob told his story. He was sitting in his office working, and glanced out the window (the lucky stiff) when a movement caught his eye. He saw tall, thin, blond, pale man standing in the back of my truck attacking the tool box with a crow-bar! He jumped up and pounded on the glass, shouting for the man to get out. The man heard him, and, of course just started trying to open the lid all the harder. Bob, who is a large and sedentary fellow like myself, ran down the stairs and out to the guard gate. As Bob came puffing by, the man renewed his now frantic efforts to open the tool box, working the bar into the gap between the lid and box all up and down its length. Bob called to the puzzled guard and raced down the street toward the truck. Now what he planned to do to the man with the crowbar, neither Bob nor anyone else knows, but it was a brave thing. The man finally gave up, jumped down and fled, easily outdistancing my fellow desk-jockey. I listened, and, as Bob finished, I fell out laughing. This did not impress Bob, who had just risked life and limb to save my property. The guard obviously thought we were both nuts, she just looked at us. When I was finally able to speak, I explained that it was a good thing most crooks were dumb, or we would have trouble. First, the toolbox was only locked on one side (I don't have a key), he only needed to punch the "Open" button on the other side to get in. Second, the tool box is all flexible plastic, it will only bend out of the way, you can't pry it open with a crow-bar. Finally, the only things I keep in there are a pair of old Nike's and a tire tool for changing a flat in the mud. Bob and the guard were still laughing hysterically when the Memphis Police arrived (quite promptly, really). I started to tell the officers what had happened, but Bob got control of himself and told them "You' re looking for a tall, thin, blond, white guy with a crow-bar, who's REAL stupid." |
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