Cat Commandments

PINKPAW _{and company}

Cat Commandments

Thou shalt not leap upon the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

Thou shalt show remorse when thou art scolded.

Thou shalt not climb upon the the hinged lid of the garbage can, lest thou fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shalt not leap from great a height onto the genital region of thy human.

Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence to lick thy butt.

Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper.

Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as if thou art transparent.

Thou shalt not project thy hairball from the top of the refrigerator.

Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shalt remember that, fast though thou art, thou canst not run through closed doors.

Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking thereon.

Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM.

Thou shalt realize that thy house is not a prison from which thou must escape at every opportunity.

Thou shalt not trip thy humans even though they are walking too slow.

Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that house plants are not meat.

Thou shalt not fall asleep upon the edge of the sofa, lest thou fall and embarrass thyself.

Thou shalt not tread upon the face of thy sleeping human, lest thou discover that flight is not meant for cats.

Thou shalt not swish thy tail upon the sewing machine when thy human is stitching.

Thou shalt not place thy head into thy food bowl while thy human is trying to fill it.

Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shalt not eat the pieces of thy human's jigsaw puzzle.

Thou shalt not descend upon the food-bowl of the dog, lest he catch thee and whip thy kitty butt.