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Insults and caustic remarks - General
He thinks he's a wit and he's half right! He lives by his wits, and he's always flat broke. Earth is fullGo home. Do they ever shut up on your planet? You! Off my planet! Welcome to Texas, now go home! And which dwarf are you? Is it time for your medication or mine? I'm fine, you need Prozac. Nice perfumeMust you marinate in it? If I throw a stick, will you leave? Whatever look you were going for, you missed. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. Don't worryI forgot your name, too! When you're alone, you're in bad company. How about never? Is never good for you? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. Ahhh...I see the ****up fairy has visited us again... I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. I like youYou remind me of when I was young and stupid. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? I'm not being rudeYou're just insignificant. Thank youWe're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. No, my powers can only be used for good. I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication Are you a freaking ray of sunshine every day? I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... I don't work hereI'm a consultant. Who me? I just wander from room to room. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. I can please only one person per dayToday is not your dayTomorrow isn't looking good either. I love deadlinesI especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. I don't have an attitude problem. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" My reality check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. |
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