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Unclassified Stuff You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is. The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her. A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede
jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library; the Jimmy Carter Library; the Ronald Reagan Library and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. |
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